Questions People Ask

Ever since the day of my joining at IIM Cal, I have been asked a volley of questions – question i have been answering in a diplomatic, far unconnected-to-me manner.
If given the choice, I would like to answer in a slightly more interesting way. following is a sample of my “ideal world” responses

Q. Hey, How have u been ?
A. Not that I was doing great but My disinterest in life has been further increased by ur questioning. Thanks so much

Q. Hows IIM Cal treating u ?
A. How can a place possibly “treat” me. I am not used to taking treats from places or non-living objects of any kind. If I had any such tendency it wd have been characterized as Schizophrenia (not that there’s anything wrong with it)

Q. You must be getting sleepless nights ?
A. Yes, people here are known for their cruelty towards sleep. We can hang you for sleeping (pun intended)

Q. It must be great to study in an IIM ?
A. No, it feels awful…….I know they are the best places to study in India but somehow I hate institutions which are the best in their disciplines.

Q. So, what else ?

A. Apart from your troubling me, nothing much. I had some happiness before the start of this conversation……unable to get access to it anymore.

Then there are others, who despite having gone through the trouble of opening my profile and scrapping something horrendous like “Where r u these days ?”  cannot bother to look into my professional tab.

Inspite of spending about 25 hours a day on orkut, people havent got hold of that feature as yet……..

sometimes, mind just wanders…….but on most occassions, it wonders – what the fu** ?